The Talk
by AnnabethLuna
Summary: Malcolm and Percy have a talk.


**I figured that at some point, one of Annabeth's brothers would have had to have the boyfriend talk with Percy, and even though we don't get to see much of him, I really like Malcolm, so I made it him. I don't own Percy, Malcolm, or any of Rick Riordan's wonderful characters.**

The sun streaming through my windows woke me up early on August nineteenth. Its light was soft and yellow on my closed eyelids, and for a moment I just lay in bed smiling, trying to figure out why I felt so happy and relieved.

Slowly, I realized I was in my own cabin – not in a random room at the Plaza, and that I was wearing actual pajamas, not the clothes I'd worn yesterday. And, eyes still closed, the memories came back to me.

The deaths, yes, and the sadness, but also the life. The battle was over. The prophecy was over. Sure, there was a new one, but I wouldn't have to worry about that for a long time.

And there was one thing that stood out most of all . . .

_Annabeth._

I opened my eyes, finally, stretched, and heard a knock on the door. Instinctively I reached for Riptide, thinking _monster!_ but I relaxed quickly as I realized that if the boundaries of camp really had been breached by monsters, I would have been alerted by something a lot louder than a knock on the door. Still, I gripped my sword, sat up in bed, and called, "Come in!" while pulling the cap on the pen.

There were a lot of people I might have expected to see coming into my cabin. Grover, Nico, Rachel – even though she was the Oracle now, we were still friends – or possibly even Annabeth. Needless to say, the last one would have been most preferable to me, even though I was still wearing my pajamas, had bedhead, and was probably not looking particularly attractive right now.

However, one of the last people I would have been expecting would be her half-brother, Malcolm, already dressed, and striding into the cabin with his sandy hair wet as though he'd just washed it and a purposeful look in his gray eyes.

The amount of contact that I had ever had with Malcolm was minimal, so my surprise at seeing Annabeth's brother in my cabin was understandable. Especially when Malcolm so clearly had a reason for coming here. So he hopefully wouldn't be offended at the fact that I seemed to be unable to articulate any words at the moment.

Malcolm looked at me, amused. "I'm not a monster," he promised, "so you can put the sword away now."

A little surprised at seeing the celestial bronze blade full-size in my hand, I fit the cap back on it and set the pen on my nightstand. "Hi," I managed to say as, without asking for permission, Malcolm seated himself on the bed across the room from me, where Tyson usually slept. He didn't say anything, just stared at me with his piercing gray eyes until I cleared my throat uncomfortably. "Um, what did you need?"

Malcolm sighed. "Okay, Percy, before I start, just realize that what I'm about to say is just as awkward for me as it is for you, so please don't make it worse."

A conversation that started with those words was never good news. My eyes found themselves fixed determinedly on my knees, not meeting Malcolm's eyes anymore. "Um, sure, go ahead," I muttered.

"So," Malcolm began, "You and Annabeth are now officially a couple, right?"

Oh gods.

"Um . . . yes," I managed. "Yes, we are."

"And you do realize that every single other person in the camp has known this was going to happen for roughly four years, right?"

"Um . . ." This would be the fourth time I'd uttered that word. Cursing myself for not being able to be more eloquent in front of a child of the wisdom goddess, I resolved to come up with better vocabulary. I then proceeded to shock him with my brilliant speaking skills. "Um . . . how did you . . . um . . ."

"Percy." Malcolm stared at me with a hint of exasperation. "I am a son of _Athena._ Children of the _wisdom_ goddess are not generally known for being clueless. Love might not be our specialty, but it doesn't mean we're not smart."

"I, um . . . didn't mean to say that?" It came out as a question. Malcolm smirked.

"Okay, Percy. Though you are not a child of Athena – and thank goodness for that, otherwise your relationship with Annabeth would basically be incest – you should be able to understand why I am here. You are Annabeth's boyfriend. I am her brother. This means that I am obligated – even though I've seen you two for years, and don't really think it's necessary – to give you the you-break-her-heart-I-break-your-face talk. Clear enough?"

I'm pretty sure I looked like those lobsters they boil in fancy restaurants, my face was so red. It isn't that much fun being treated like a three-year-old by someone your own age. (Even though Annabeth does it all the time) I stuttered something like, "Yeah, clear," and internally debated the merits of hiding under the covers.

"But," continued Malcolm, undaunted, "as I am the child of Athena and am able to actually see things, I know you're about as in love with her as she is with you and won't break her heart. Therefore, there is no need for me to break your face. As long as you behave. Also, I'm only a little less afraid of Annabeth than you are, and I know that if you did break her heart, she'd probably break your face herself. I'm only saying this out of duty, because I don't actually anticipate the need to break your face."

Thanks for clearing that up with me.

"But if you do, you do not want to make an enemy of a child of Athena." I looked up to see that Malcolm's smirk was bigger than ever. He was enjoying this way too much. I neglected to mention that I had basically already made an enemy out of his mom.

Malcolm finished with, "Well, that's all. Just thought I'd tell you that. See you later!"

I looked up for real now, only to be greeted by the sight of his back as he sauntered out of my cabin. I was undecided between hiding under my covers in embarrassment and cracking up, so I just watched him go.

A few hours later, I was sitting with Annabeth by the lake, holding hands and watching the naiads play, when I casually mentioned, "Oh, by the way, Malcolm gave me the big-brother talk this morning."

She pulled her hand out of mine and turned to look at me, her cheeks a bit red. "What big-brother talk?" she asked threateningly.

"Oh, nothing much," I said. "Just told me the entire camp has been talking about us for years and threatening to beat me up if I break your heart."

"He did WHAT?"


End file.
